Love Letters - Sentimental Sunday No. 48

Another special gem that we found when cleaning out the garage was a love note that my Grandpa Porter wrote to my Grandma Julia about one month before they were married. At 26 years old, he was 10 years older than she when they married.

While not as full of heartfelt emotion as the letters my Dad wrote to my Mom, it is beautiful and simple in the sentiment of how much he loved her.

The photo above is obviously a few years later, after the arrival of their only child, my Dad.

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Pueblo

November 9, 1918

My Dearest Julia:

I received your always welcome letter. As for my love toward you, it is as strong as a heart could make it. It is all for you as there is no other who could fill your place. In my estimation it is a true love that never grows cold.

I remain yours until death parts.

With love and kisses,

J.E.P.

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Finding this letter was bittersweet, as they divorced in 1941. I always thought they didn’t like each other very much. But, the fact that my Grandmother saved this letter all those years probably indicates that she fondly remembered that time, early in their relationship, when they were very much in love.

Live Aid Anniversary

image from www.apeculture.com

This week marked the 25th anniversary of Live Aid.  What a spectacular world event it was all those twenty five years ago.  It was a wonderful day of music and fellowship, but more importantly a day for the world to become more aware of the tragedy happening in Africa.  Unfortunately, things are still not perfect on the beautiful continent.

image from www.bobgeldof.info 

Sir Bob Geldof was the primary organizer for Live Aid.  He continues to work for aid in Africa and stopping poverty around the world.  I think he's a pretty incredible man, and I'm in awe of him and his humanitarian efforts.

Richard and I are remembering Live Aid by watching our DVD set of the day.  So many fun performances and really great music.  And, some of the things we laugh at because they are "just SO 80's"!  All in all the day holds happy memories for us and we're enjoying reliving some of them this weekend.

Love Letters From Sea - Sentimental Sunday No. 47

Here is another letter written to my Mom by my Dad while he was in the Navy. This letter was postmarked December 1, 1941. Just six days later Pearl Harbor will be bombed. The letters to this point look normal with normal postmarks. Letters after that date will bear the seal of the Navy Censors.

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Sunday

30 November 1941

Bremerton, Washington

My Darling Beloved Wife:

I wrote you a special delivery air mail letter yesterday so that you would know that I’m still alive. I sent it ashore with a guy that got paid off and I hope he mailed it before he gets back to Chicago. I went in to Bremerton last night and I bought you another Christmas present. It’s something you once told me you wanted, but I don’t think you’ll guess what it is. It’s large, but not heavy, and looks almost real but isn’t. I could tell you what it is, but won’t; not until Christmas. But what I will tell you is that I love you so very very much and would give anything to be able to hold you in my arms.

I went to a show and saw Honky Tonk and when she ran her fingers through Clark Gables hair and kissed him I got so homesick for you, I almost died. Then I had a hamburger and a cup of coffee and came back to the ship in time to hold 6pm sick call, some speed! I had to look in every store in Bremerton to get you that present and only one had it and I got their last one.

We’re going up North again and then come straight home, (I hope). Honey, I’m so sick of the Navy, and being away from you makes me feel like running away. If I weren’t a short timer, I would. I’m patriotic. I’ve fought for liberty for 3 years, in fact, and I even got leave a couple of times. (puny pun) There hasn’t been anything new going on and the ship is so dead it looks like a tomb. The Chief went over again last night and he hasn’t come back yet. Boy, he’s sure a two timing old turd. I hope he stays over.

What’s new at the rancho, Sweetheart, and how is my darling wife getting along? When you’re not busy tell her that her husband adores her and is terribly in love with her and is awfully anxious to be home with the little redheaded angel. I love you darling. Every time my heart beats it beats twice as hard because your heart is my heart so I have twice as much love for you. I feel like a shadow darling. I feel as if I left myself behind when I had to leave you. I’ve never felt like this before in my life, at least not until I met you. And, for myself I think love’s grand and being married to you is the most wonderful thing in the world. I love you darling, I love you, I love you, and if they don’t get me back to you by Christmas I’m going to want to punch somebody in the snot locker.

Well my darling, adorable, beloved, loving little angel, Mrs. John A Porter, I’ll have to close now. This will be the last letter I will be able to write before I see you (20th). Bye darling and please take care of yourself. I love you angel. I adore you.

Your loving and adoring husband,

Johnny

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He was able to see her at Christmas time, because there are letters dated in January indicating that they had spent time together.

Ya Ya 10th Anniversary

July 2000 was the first meeting of the Ya Ya's.  We've been going strong for 10 years now!  On Wednesday night we celebrated our anniversary by "allowing" the "men folk" to join us for some Ya Ya fun. 

We played The Newlywed Game and the guys had a little game of their own to play ~ Ya Ya Trivia.  Brenda, our hostess, created that game to see how well the husbands listen to us when we come home after a Ya Ya night.  Charles & Todd "cleaned up" on that one!

Our wonderful hostess & host ~ Brenda & Todd

Adrienne & Joe

Kathy & Charles

Larry & Laura

Richard & Me

Unfortunately, Jamie & Jake were not able to join us.  (Sad face)  Jamie had to work.  We missed them both, tremendously.

Brenda's husband Todd commented that now he understood what she meant when she would come home and say "My cheeks and sides hurt from laughing so much!"  We all had a super fun time.  Thank you Todd for putting up with all of us "crazy ladies" in your home - and thank you to all of our husbands for being good sports about the evening and playing along with the games.

Independence Day

We had a super fun 4th of July, filled with good friends, tasty food and fun fireworks.  It was a great day!

Rob, Dodi & Scott

Alyssa

John & Alyssa ~ Hey!  He is taller than she is now!

Richard bringing over some chairs for us to sit during our "show".

Dodi, Sunny & Alyssa.  Poor Sunny was really NOT digging all the booming sounds in the neighborhood, or the flashes in the sky.

Dodi & Kerry

We ended the evening with this delicious "Patriotic Cheesecake" made by Dodi.  It was SO good!

Love Letters from Sea - Sentimental Sunday No. 46

Mom and Dad were married September 13, 1941. This is the first letter I have that was written after they were married.
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October 5, 1941

My Darling Wife,

I have been thinking about you hour after hour, and missing you more and more with the passing of each lonely minute. It seems as though the minutes are hours and the hours are one year. Oh darling, I miss you so. I feel as if I just can’t last another day until I see you, although I get a little comfort in just sitting here and thinking of you, but again I begin to miss you so much more.

You know sweetheart, I feel sorry for some of these fellows on here, not being able to love their wives as much as I love you. After all, you’re my greatest happiness and you’re all I’ve ever wanted and just having you to love and adore is happiness enough to overcome all other hardships of not being able to be with you all of the time. It won’t be like this in exactly 11 months and 29 days. That’s when I get paid off and then I can be with you all of the time.

My darling, I love you so very much. If only they would pay me off now I’d be so pleased that I’d probably say I liked the Navy. But, as long as I have to stay in I’m going to do my work and keep my nose clean.

If you miss me darling, as much as I miss you, then I know you must feel awfully empty and lost. I feel as if I’m alone in the world when I’m not with you. You’ve even become a part of me. You have my heart and soul. In other words, I am a zombie when away from you. I feel like I’m dead and I know I act it.

Well my darling, I must close and go eat chow, or else I won’t get any, so I’ll say bye now and I love you with all of my heart and soul. I love you. I love you.

Your loving and adoring husband,
Johnny

I love you.
I love you.
I adore you darling.
XXXXXX I love you XXXXXX
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So sad that he thought he would be out of the Navy by October 1942. (He had enlisted in the summer of 1937 when he was only 17 years old) Of course, we now know that Pearl Harbor was only 2 months away from this letter.

Dad stayed in the Navy until 1944 when he was honorably discharged due to critical injuries sustained in an auto accident while transporting a patient from Long Beach to San Diego.

A Little Break

I'm taking a few vacation days to make the long weekend even longer.

Richard and I got away to the movies this afternoon. We saw the Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz movie, "Knight and Day".

Really fun film. Lots of action, some enjoyable laughs, and tiny bit of romance. I know the movie hasn't done very well at the box office, but we really liked it and gave it "Two Thumbs Up".

Letters from Sea - Sentimental Sunday No. 45

Cleaning out our garage I found the love letters that my father wrote to my mother during World War II, when he was in the Navy. I knew that I had them, but haven’t seen them in 20 years. I had never read all of them – only a couple. After they passed away it was just too difficult for me to go through all of their belongings. I’m so glad that I finally sat down and read them. Priceless. Amazing how deep and strong their love was. There are two years worth of letters from him, and over the course of the next several months I will transcribe some of them. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. My Dad loved my Mother until the ends of the Earth. He knew he had found “the one” when he met her. They were married until death parted them.
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April 15, 1941

Darling,

Hello Sweetheart. I just finished work so I’ll write to you. We’re off the coast of Santa Barbara and it’s 4pm. Pretty good time don’t you think so? It’s only been but a few hours since I saw you, but it already seems like a year. I’d much rather be in L.A., then I could see you, baby duck.

Honey, I’m so sleepy that I don’t hardly know whether it is night or day. It’s all I can do to keep awake and do my work, no lie. But I’m not too sleepy to remember what I said and asked you last night. And, honey I want you to know that I am sincere in what I said. In fact, after I think it over I like the idea more and more. So you see honey, I’m not handing you any lies, so please don’t mistrust me.

I sure hope there is a letter from you waiting for me in Frisco. And Honey, please don’t forget to make your letters long. I am sure sorry I had to leave this morning, because as you know I would much rather spend my time with you. I already miss you so much that I’m anxious for this trip to end.

Well honey, we just got a guy that was battered up a bit, so I’ll close. Bye Sweet, and answer soon.

Loving you always,
Johnny

P.S. Ich liebe dich
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Dad had asked Mom to marry him the night before he wrote this letter. They had met only two months prior through mutual friends, Betty & Goss.

Update: My Big Decision

Well, the update is that it has been a week I still haven't made a decision. At this point I am inclined to not send the letter. There are just too many unknowns for me. I'm not saying that I won't EVER mail the letter to my birth mother - but for now I am just not ready.

A big part of me really does want her to know that she gave my family the most incredible gift when she allowed me to be adopted. She gave me to the most incredible parents a girl could ever ask for - in a million years. And she made my Mom and Dad the happiest parents in the world. But, there is a part of me that feels it is arrogant for me to assume she wants to know. To assume that it is my right to barge into her life and make her deal with this all these years later. All who gave me advice on writing - I appreciate your words and support. But, we're all making an assumption that she wants to know anything about me. And while I feel that may be true - we may all be wrong.

I worry too that by my trying to do a good thing for her - in the long run I could end up hurting her. If she hasn't shared anything about me to her family, my letter could come as a shock and embarrassment to her. And, if she's thrilled to hear from me and wants to have a meaningful relationship with me - I could hurt her because I'm not sure what type of relationship I want.  There are just too many questions for me right now.

So, no letter or contact... for now. I've been waiting for a sign - waiting for a clear and unwavering decision to be made. It hasn't come yet. Maybe someday soon that will change. But, for now I'm letting it be.

A Very Big Decision

I represent two parts of the adoption triad. I am an adoptee and I am an adoptive parent. The part of the triad that I cannot know about – have not a clue how they must feel – is the birthparent. What an agonizing choice that must be to give up your child… their own personal “Sophie’s Choice”.

For some it may be an easier choice. They know that they are unable to raise this child – and they choose adoption. For others, probably most, the choice is agonizing. While their heart may be telling them to keep this precious baby, their heads tell them it is not possible. These parents make the selfless choice to give their child up for adoption, and then they hope for the best. I would imagine for the rest of their life, unless it is an open adoption, they wonder how their baby is. They think about that child on their birthday and pray that they are OK, well loved and cared for and happily adjusted.

My adoption was in 1959. There was no such thing as “open adoption” back then. In fact, in many cases the child might not have even been told they were adopted. I was a very lucky baby. I was sent to the most perfect parents. I have always felt that I was born to be with the family that raised me. I am very artistic like my Mom and have her sense of humor. I have my Dad’s work ethic and sense of right and wrong. They did an amazing job of raising me and making me feel special and loved and very very wanted.

Many adoptees choose to seek out their birth family. It may be out of curiosity. It may be that they want to know more about their medical history. Perhaps, although they were loved and happy in their adoptive family, they have always felt there was something missing and they need answers to questions they have always had. This has not been my personal experience. I’ve never desired to seek my birth parents out. I’ve always said that I love them for making the choice they made and I thank them for that choice. However, if I was ever contacted by one of them I would welcome them and thank them in person.

Last year, while doing genealogy on my adoptive family I discovered the maiden name of my birth mother. My husband has played off and on through Google to see if he could find her. This week Richard found my birth mother. At least we’re pretty sure, probably about 99% sure. It seems I have a half sister, a couple of nieces and some uncles.

When I talk about my Mom and Dad, they are John and Sylvia Porter. The people that raised me, cried when I was hurt, laughed when I was happy and loved me unconditionally. They made sure I was taken care of and enjoyed some of the better experiences in life. They were my real parents.  Our family was made out of love, rather than by blood.

I am faced with a serious a choice of my own. Do I contact the woman that gave birth to me and chose my happiness and well-being over her own? She is 70 now. There may not be too many years left for me to get in touch with her. Does her family know about me? The last thing I would ever want to do is disrupt her life and force her to explain an event that happened almost 51 years ago. If I do contact her, what do I hope to gain from this connection? Or maybe I’m being selfish in wondering “what’s in it for me”? Perhaps I should be looking at this from a different angle. What can I do for her? Has she wondered about me all these years? Does she hope and pray that she made the right decision? Should I let her know how much I appreciate the choice she made all those years ago?

After writing all of this, you probably think I’ve already made up my mind. One minute I say I am going to write her a letter; the next I say I am going to leave it alone. I wish there was a clear cut path and I had a guarantee that I was making the right choice. But, instead I waffle back and forth.

So, here I sit with my own “Sophie’s Choice”; a momentous decision.