Sunday, March 7, 2010

Integrity - Sentimental Sunday No. 42

Well, this isn’t so much a “Sentimental Sunday” as it is a reflection on some recent events in my life. My father raised me with a strong sense of integrity. He taught me the difference between right and wrong and instilled in me the necessity to always try to do the right thing – even when it is really difficult.

I would say that I am a good listener, and that many of my friends come to me for advice and guidance. When asked not to say anything to others about a secret – I don’t. A good friend of mine says about herself, “I’m a good secret keeper”. And she most definitely is. I like to think that I am a good secret keeper too. But, recently someone told me something that required I take action. I had no choice. What they told me wasn’t told in confidence; it was actually shared quite innocently. But, I could not sit idly by and not do something. I’m sorry I can’t be more specific with the circumstances – it wouldn’t be right to share them in this forum. But, I’ve been torn up about my decision to take action – and I’ve damaged a friendship in the process.

There is no doubt in my mind that I made the right choice. No doubt that I did what I had to do. Those that know what happened agree that it was my responsibility to take action and if I hadn’t it could have had serious repercussions for me. But, none of that really makes me feel too much better. I am sad that my friend feels our relationship has changed. She has told me she isn’t mad and doesn’t hold a grudge – but she doesn’t know how to act around me now.

Reflecting on this situation I ask myself – would I do it all over again? Would I still take the same action? The answer is yes, I would. My conscience wouldn’t allow me to do anything different. If the friendship is lost I will be very sad, and that will be a high price to pay. However, not being true to me and my values would have been a higher price to pay. One of my favorite quotes is, “Integrity -- When you do the right thing even though no one is watching..” No one was watching – I probably could have gotten away with not taking action – who would have known? Answer: Me. And THAT would have been more difficult for me to live with.


Columbo said...

Integrity is perhaps one of the most biggest attribute a person has. I am very proud to be part of your life...we are soul mates.
If only our government had some integrity!!!!!!Ha.

Laura said...

No doubt that was very difficult for you. But you're right, you would have known and your integrity is worth more than any "secret". I'm proud of you!

Jason, as himself said...

What a tough situation. I've been in your shoes, a long time ago. When I was 17 a friend of mine, who was 16, told me she was messing around with a 35 year old man. She begged me not to tell anyone, but I told her parents.

Our friendship never was the same. But I think I did the right thing.

5Youngers said...

Good for you.... only someone with true integrity would do what you had to do!

Patty said...

I'm sure you did the right thing and hopefully some day this friend will feel differently towards you. Remember it's how you feel about your self, that is the most important thing. Just say a little pray every night for your friend. If she's a true friend she will understand, one day.

Megan said...

Sorry if things have not worked out the way you had hoped. Knowing you I am sure you did the right thing. Very proud of you XOXOXO

Kim said...

Sometimes you just have to look at the bigger picture which is so much easier said than done, especially when a friendship is at stake. I wish more people had integrity and a conscience of right and wrong ~ the world would be a different place. I'm glad there are people like you who make the right choice even under difficult circumstances!

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